Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Moan for me like Helen Keller
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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