new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
you never un-have a 4some
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