this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
