i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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