Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
