Actions speak louder than pants.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
