This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize