By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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