This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
