dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
