Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
