I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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