sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
You were trust falling into bushes
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
