remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
