fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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