i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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