Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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