She is in my trunk
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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