That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Randomize
