My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
apparently the secret to your success is patron
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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