I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
And then he peed in my hair
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