Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize