Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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