yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
