Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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