Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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