he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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