It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
