For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
