I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
