and my herpes radar will keep us safe
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
whose ass print is on the piano?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
