Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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