Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
