Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
