She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
