It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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