dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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