so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
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