i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize