my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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