i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
