I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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