I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
