I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
