if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
