I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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