Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
