Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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