it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
