smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
