a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize