Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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