I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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