He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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