belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
