Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
