I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
