I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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