carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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